Insanely Long Post...Brace Yourself...

Okay fellow polish lovers I am back for another post! Sorry I have been away for awhile:( Work has been hectic and I had a family health emergency that took up most of my time and brain power so I haven’t really been on track….butttt…..I am back and things are finally slowing down!

Okay on to the nail/beauty talk because I know that is what you all read this blog for…trust me, I’m on to all of you:)

Two days ago I had one of my favorite color combos on…OPI Planks A Lot with OPI Last Friday Night on top. One word: GORG…okay that is not a word but it is my go to adjective for anything that I classify as beyond pretty:) Anyways, it is one of my favorite color combos and on top of that it was an awesome paint job. Do you ever have those days/nights when you finish your manicure and you literally yell out loud “Geeze, I am awesome!”…well that is what happened at 12:56 am on Tuesday night…needless to say I was thoroughly impressed by my painting prowess at that moment. So I went to bed really happy, with my freshly painted tips nested preciously and delicately upon my stomach, ready to take on the next day.

Fast-forward 10 hours when I wake from my coma (it is summer vacation and I need my beauty sleep) and the beginning of the end began. You see I am a cheap college student so lets just say I am not sleeping on fine Egyptian cotton…more like borderline burlap. My SV topcoat let me down for the first time and I had a smudge on my left pointer finger (which is my favorite finger by the way). Now I can’t entirely blame it on the top coat…I didn’t really let it dry at all, I just went to bed…and I sleep with my hands and face completely wrapped in blankets so it was inevitable. No big deal though, I can just fix it I thought…so 5 minutes later all is good with the world again.

Fast-forward 1 hour and once again tragedy strikes. This time in the form of French’s Spicy Brown Mustard…which is the best condiment in the world besides sour cream (which in my world is a condiment). I was trying to open the top, which gives me troubles every time, and I chip my right middle and ring finger. After a mini meltdown I calmly tell myself it is not big deal and move on…in reality I had no time to fix it because I was getting ready to head home with the boyfriend to see our families but that is just a minor detail in this story.

Fast-forward 24 hours and we are now at yesterday afternoon and all is forgotten about the nail drama I suffered in the past hours. I am laying on a blow up pool raft with my mother soaking in some rays (okay, really just complaining about how hot it was…I’m not the fresh air, outdoors type) and I look down and all my fingers are peeling up…OMG…really. I about lost it…literally. I might have even fallen off the raft, gotten my hair wet, and threw a fit…okay being dramatic again. I blame it on the fact that my mom loads that pool down with chlorine because A. I have two younger teenage brothers or B. my dog and my brother’s dog love to swim. So I just peeled everything off and vowed to forget about the dreadful manicure, only to blog about it at the first chance I got…lucky you.

Okay now that I am done complaining and whining about things that were probably my fault lets get on to the real reason for this post. I am here today to provide you with a go-to guide of all things that will ruin your manicure. Some of you might notices some of these things on this list, and others will completely blow your mind…either way you will know what to be on the lookout for next time you paint a beautiful manicure only to have it messed up…let us begin…

Condiments

I am a total condiment person, except for ketchup with is weird. I have always been a dunker/condiment user and some of my favorites are ranch dressing, mustard, sour cream, caesar dressing, mayonnaise, and butter (seafood, hello). Opening these bottles however have always caused me headaches…90% of the time, my ruined manicures come from these dreaded bottles but I just can’t stay away from them...

Solution: Nix the condiments with flip tops or hire a butler to open them for you…

Bedding/Blankets/Bed Nonsense

(Okay this isn't my bedding but I want it bad...I am hoping the boyfriend reads this and gets the hint that our anniversary is coming up)

I am human so therefore I require sleep…I do not however require the mass of pillows, blankets, and quilts on my bed…it is a comfort thing I think. This is another manicure destroyer, but not only that, also a pedicure destroyer. I hate nothing more to wake up in the morning to a ruined pedicure due to blankets…maybe I just know that I’m going to have to fix it and I’m not that flexible so pedicures are few and far between…

Solution: Sleep standing up in a space chamber or let your manicure/pedicure dry longer crazy…

Pool/Any Body of Water

(My parent's pool and the reason for the extra chlorine..and I let those two sleep in bed with me...)

This is pretty self explanatory…especially when lots of chlorine are involved. You just have to decide whether the fun is worth losing your mani…I feel that it is…unless your are incessantly being held under water by your younger yet much stronger brothers. One positive is that the polish comes off in perfect nail shaped pretties…

Solution: Ducktape rubber gloves or latex gloves onto your hands and swim your heart out…

Doing someone’s nails

(This particular manicure ruined a GORG water marble manicure...it was worth it though...my momma is usually a good sport when I want to paint her nails)

Maybe this is just me but everytime I do someone else’s nail mine get ruined. Maybe this is just because I am not a professional, but it never fails. I always either get this polish of choice on my nails or while cleaning up their mani, some rouge acetone sneaks onto my tips. Pure torture because I want to blame the person receiving the manicure but that is just rude because really, it is my fault…

Solution: Be better at giving manicure/pedicures or just say NO when asked…

Work

(These bad boys are the bane of my existence...)

This is going to sound nuts but work kills my nails…and I really don’t do anything. I work at CVS Pharmacy as a pharmacy tech but they way my nails look like after work you would think I was building houses with my bare hands. In reality I open bottles, count pills, then put them in another bottle. All the work done at a pharmacy is in the brain and even then not much is required. But however, it never fails, everyday when I get home I usually have touching up to do. I blame it on the foil covering new medications…darn pharmaceutical companies.

Solution: Quit your job and find a sugar daddy so you never have to work again…obviously…

Okay so ends this hugely long post...wake up ladies it is over…next time I cross my heart there will be an actual mani…I am working on something epic. Okay being dramatic again…See you soon:)

Ashley Marie